Hey guys what’s up?! Just want to share a bit of my real life experience with y'all. So erm...I was involved with my ex girlfriend for about 5 years, till we finally broke up early this year (we have broken up and gotten back together more than once). So when we did, we didn't talk for a while, until like April or May.
So we started talking...at first I was like, I don't want to talk to you now as we had broken up not too long ago, and I have always had the belief that a couple who has broken up, shouldn't talk with each other for a while...at least to get themselves straight or be more independent in a sense (I don't mean independent literally because you shouldn't be dependent on someone else if your not married.... but till you at least get yourself going again..). I didn't want any emotions attached this time since we agreed to just be friends... but I can't say my motives where exactly clean. Anyway so that’s what I told her and she agreed.
Someway somehow, we started talking again as I was 'ready' to start talking again, so we were friends and stuff, blah blah, yiddi yadda (lol!). During this time, my eyes were watching out for the 'one' and my mind was also thinking that maybe I and my ex could work things out maybe?..This feeling was fluctuating during this time period though and I can pin point why.
To cut the long story short, things that I did not like that she was doing when we were going out, she continued to do, but this is not straight forward, as it could just be me being selfish and not understanding, but I just felt that.....there are some things that you should do and be done. I'm not going to go into details, but yeah. She could see this, and being an emotional person, she couldn't really handle it...which is part of the reason we broke up for good in the first place.
Anyway we had a mutual agreement to end everything for good. No blackberry messenger, no yahoo messenger, no twitter, no facebook...for good. The thought of this felt quite dramatic, but I knew it was for good....it just was. You guys may not understand but like said in a song, 'it had a hold on me'. The fluctuating feelings and emotions, the malice, the whatever!...was just too much, and I don't think it can be solved any other way apart from not speaking again. Before we deleted contacts and stuff, I made sure we did this on a good note, as in not out of anger and stuff...well on my part anyway because I could sense anger on hers...so now it’s the end!
Now today me and a friend (one of my best buddies, I love you Busola, lol) were talking about whether it is good to keep in contact with your ex. Now this might be an individual thing, but I CAN'T! I don't think its good...then again some people do, but I am not them so maybe they can handle certain stuff...dunno. I wouldn't even like it if my wife was still friends with her ex, not that I don't trust her, but just because.
So I'll advice anyone not too keep in contacts with their ex's, no matter the situation, whether a heart was broken, or betrayal, etc. Even if it was mutual...you don't know what the flesh can be trying to convince you to do or even say. Now with me and her, if we see each other on the road or something, yeah we'll say hi or hello, but that's about it.
*****I'm currently reading the daily word thing I read, and it says something that is related to this. It says:
"When a relationship is not working, when your efforts to rehabilitate it have failed, acknowledge it. Sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and admit that instead of lifting them up, they're dragging you down (I am not saying i was the innocent one). Releasing somebody doesn't mean they'll never improve, it just means God is better suited to the job.